40pounds

Hello Everyone,
I had my Appointments today I lost 9.4 pounds, I know it is just numbers but a lot of big deals about losing that 9.4lbs... 1) I am out of the 100s in kilos. 2) I am no long morbidly obese I am just obese, when it comes to BMIs. 3) my BMI is 38, when I was pre-op it was 46. 4) I am at exactly a 40lbs weight loss.

They actually were happy with everything, my food was fine, vitamins (except b-complex but I knew that), Richard is happy with everything exercise is great.

I know it has only been 2 months but its hard to even remember what life was like before surgery. My relationship with food (yes relationship) has changed so much, I don't feel tempted by the cookies or holiday goodies around work. I have no cravings for "before surgery" foods. Smells don't get to me, I am so happy. I fill my time with shopping, going for walks, starting work helped out a lot also. I am so glad I am at the point that I am at right now because starting out was so hard, like Dr. Bernard said it isn't all fun and maybe I haven't been taping into the "other" side of the surgery..

It's surgery, any surgery there WILL be pain, I was crying almost every night in the hospital it is painful its a sore pain but pain is pain. I have to say eating at first SSUUCCCKKKSSS, Puree was the WORST for me, I mean the WORST! The puree stage is the only reason why I hesitate when I get asked if I were to do it again. The emotions are just almost unbearable, your happy, your sad, your mad, your confused. I thought I had it all figured out "oh yeah my mom had surgery i know what dumping is, i know when to stop eating" You can live with 10 people who just had gastric bypass and you can watch them go through the worst and the best of times. You will NOT fully understand the emotions or the feelings Gastric Bypass patients. Dumping is terrible I wish no one went through it but then again a lot of people would not learn, I learned from it. I never understood why my mom would always over eat I was able to tell her when to stop. Yet I've overeaten a few times who hasn't? It hurt, god it hurts like hell and I just think to myself "omg not again what was i thinking" it is hard, it is really hard. Thankfully I had no complications at least not yet I an only imagine what it is like if you did have complications.

OKAY I hope i didn't scared anyone. I am going to make dinner for the little sis!

Love,
Kylie
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