November 07, 2007

Hospital Stay.

Bulimia is like cancer, it always happens to the other person, never you. I got a huge slap in the face a week ago, I was admitted to the hospital to monitor my heart.

I had been having fainting spells and things were just not right with me. So my doctor wanted me to come to a hospital where she could watch me. El Camino Hospital LPCH eating disorder facility is where I found myself Monday*10/29* night. I was told my heart was going to be monitored for 48hours. I guess my heart was worse than they thought because I ended up staying a week.

During that week so much happened, I met some really interesting girls, we were on a scheduale eating times were planned, school, groups, arts and crafts, movie times, etc. It didn't feel real, I was so sad I had to spend halloween in the hospital but they set stuff up like face paintings, magician show, etc. I'm still so upset I missed halloween with my baby sister but it was for my health I guess I need to get over it. I cried a lot I begged to go home, I tried to leave but was told by going home I run the risk of having a heart attack, my heart was very tired.


I was malnourished, years and years of knowing nothing but how to LOSE weight was stuck in my head being told it's time to maintain; the message wasn't getting through my head, taking my vitamins I lacked, I lacked sleep and started to slip back in my old ways of bulimia; years ago it was a big part in my life secretively, I never got help for it, I never told, I just got over trying to lose weight and it faded out of my life.

Take me as an example. Take your vitamins, when the doctors say eat.. EAT.. Get your sleep, sleep is important, we sometimes think nothing can hurt us its always that "other" person but when it hits you, your in disbelief. don't let it hit you.

I'm home now and doing good, eating every 3 hours getting 6 meals in 1200-1500 calories a day. Learning my body is not like most 18 year olds, I need to sleep full nights of sleep and stay on an eating schedule. It's okay to eat, I'm learning.

No comments: