September 21, 2007

One Year.

My one year anniversary has come and gone. Where did this year go?? Seems like just yesterday I was anticipating surgery.
A year ago I was falling asleep with a CPAP Machine, to help me breath at night due to my severe sleep apnea.
A year ago I wouldn't dare go anywhere in public without my black jacket to "hide the fat rolls"
A year ago I was losing my eye sight due to PTC.
A year ago I didn't care about myself, I was depressed and always snapped at people around me because of being to hot or uncomfortable with myself *ask Israel*

Everything is a complete 360 turn around now. No more CPAP, no more black jacket, no more worries or scare of losing my eye sight, I'm not depressed, I'm not biting peoples heads off. I've gained self confidence, I love being social and am not afraid of people. I've always had a bright bubbly personality, it just was always covered by all the fears I had built up in my mind. So I'm the same person I have always been, I was just stuck in a "death trap".

So why am I writing about my 1 year so late? Well on my actual 1 year I was in a car with Israel's family driving to Las Vegas for his older sister's wedding. SO much fun BTW. The actual wedding itself was beautiful, short and simple. We were in Vegas, Friday-Sunday; wedding was on Saturday the rest of the time we walked around looked around it was amazing I love it!!! I won some money on a penny slot also! $63, fun stuff.

We then returned back to his family's house in Fontana "so*cal" Sunday night. Monday Israel, Kimberly and I went to Knott's Berry Farm. It was so much fun, and it was DEAD! NO waiting for any rides. Tuesday we hung out with his mom and her friends, a tarot card reader read Israel and i as a couple; don't judge if you don't believe in it that's fine leave your comments out the door. What she had to say was amazing, some negative but for the most part everything was pretty positive and reassuring. Wednesday, we all went to an Angel's game, my god i love that stadium but I will always be a RedSox girl at heart, later that night we went to Newport beach, I defiantly wouldn't mind living there just like Santa Cruz only 10x bigger and more to do, things that Santa Cruz lacks big time . We arrived back home yesterday, today I had all my doctor appointments and I had lost 3 more pounds, probably more but while we were in Vegas/SoCal we did nothing but eat out we were always on the run and although I made healthier choices it was still eating out. For maintaining phase 3 pounds, I'll take it.

Everything was fairly normal and routine at the docs today. They are happy with me and that makes me feel good. I have to work on my old habits peeking their ugly heads, like forceful throwing up. I am sure will be resolved with doctors help and Israel getting PISSED OFF that I did it. I don't even know why I allowed myself to, stupid stupid.

So everything is going well, I am happy but most importantly healthy. I am enjoying life and living life to the fullest. Now in my journey is just my goal to not gain weight but to also avoid losing to much weight. I believe my body likes where it is at right now makes it a tad bit easier to maintain.

So what's next in my life? I am going to be focusing on working and saving money to move with Israel to southern California in the first few weeks on January. We have been planning this move for years we would talk about and say "only 4 more years" and here it is 3-4months away. I am overwhelmed with excitement. No doubt I am scared and it is a huge change for me, but it will be good for me, I would like to be on my own, let me rephrase that I'd like US to be on our own. Sure we will be living with his parents for a few months till we are situated down there, in the meantime we will be working and building our company. It will all be positive I would never put myself in situation that I wasn't comfortable with. But I know if the worst case scenario my parents would always allow me to come back and his parents would help us out as well.

With ALL that said. I am going to get some rest, I work real early tomorrow morning, first day back after my vacation. So have a great night and I will write again real soon.

Take care!
-Kylie :)

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